A 片常见开场对白情节

大多数 XXX 级影片的开场场景都是下面这几种俗套, 说明色情电影业在制作 "动作片" 时从来不会为毫不重要的情节做精妙的设计.
'Is that a spanner in your pocket?' ... the faulty plumbing scenario
"你裤兜里是个扳手么?" --- 假冒水管工情节
'I've got some really great sticking plasters back at my flat' ... the painful rollerskating accident scenario
"我家里有一些特别好的粘性药膏..." --- 滑旱冰时摔倒情节
Ladies, beware of this common household accident ... the spillage scenario
这是居家过日子最常见的小意外了, 可是要当心啊, 女士们... --- 水洒到衣服上情节
'They say grief comes in five stages. But I know a sixth' ... the funeral parlour scenario

"有人说悲痛的心情会历经五个阶段. 不过据我所知还有第六个..." --- 殡仪馆场景
'I hear someone in there's got a big appetite' … the improbably-named pizza delivery scenario
"我听说这儿有人肚子很饿" --- 送披萨上门情节 [注: 盒子上写的是 '大(香肠)披萨'... -_-|||]'I always knew I was a pawn star' … the friendly game of chess scenario
"我一直觉得自己是个小卒子" --- 在友好的气氛中下棋情节 [注: 卒子 (pawn) 与 porn 谐音... 介是个 gay porn]
'Put it with all the other sofas, please' ... the furniture delivery scenario
"把它放在那些沙发旁边就行了..." --- 送家具情节
'The turbo setting is just for special occasions' ... the underground car park scenario
"我的发动机只在特殊场合才会开这么大..." --- 地下停车场场景
'I think the politics of 20th-century pornography are positively Neanderthal' ... the 10,000BC (Before Contraception) scenario
"我觉得到二十世纪时, 色情片的制作策略保准是原始人故事..." --- 史前一万年情节. 呃对不起, 是避孕套发明前一万年
'Did you know 80% of breast implants are actually grown in fields near Scottsbluff, Nebraska?' … the country-fair scenario
"你知道不, 隆胸用的材料, 80% 都是在内布拉斯加州史考特布拉夫的田野里种出来的..." --- 乡村集市场景
Our company has a very strict policy on sexual harassment' … the office scenario
"我们公司对于性骚扰有非常严格的规定" --- 办公室场景